I feel so guilty after putting my mum with dementia into a residential home

DEAR DEIDRE: I MISS my mum and feel terribly guilty now she is in a residential home.

She was showing signs of dementia, so I had no choice.

I would snap at her and she was found numerous times wandering around outside.

I am 55 and worry that I betrayed her after promising I would never leave her in a care home.

I have tried calling Mum at the home, but she refuses to come to the phone. She obviously does not want to talk to me.

My mum is 76 and we were always very close.

Now I am so depressed – I feel like I have been a terrible daughter and find myself crying all the time.

Get in touch with Deidre today

My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.

Send an email to [email protected]

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Of course you did the right thing – the only thing.

This has been a distressing time but you showed your love and cared for your mum as long as you could.

You have put her in a home because this is the best place to care for her needs.

Please do not beat yourself up any more about this.

Talk to the care home about how best you can stay in touch with your mum.

You may be able to visit her in person now.

You made a difficult decision, but it was the right one – and came out of love.

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