DEAR DEIDRE: I REACTED badly when my son first told me he’s gay.
I am his dad and I wish I could turn the clock back but a recent angry outburst showed that he has never forgiven me.
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Now I am 60 and he is 36. He had a breakdown when he was 22 and just out of university.
He was in a gay relationship which had ended badly and he was left feeling distraught.
I reacted very negatively to him being gay and now realise I didn’t give him my full support.
I also made racist remarks about his partner because I was fearful of the reaction of others, which I see was weak of me.
I understand his anger has been close to the surface all this time and why he cut contact with me for years.
I wish I could turn back the clock and change the way I behaved. H
He is happy with a partner now but it has left a scar on him.
I’ve said I am sorry but it sounds so meaningless.
DEIDRE SAYS: Children crave unconditional love from their parents. If your attitudes and prejudices really have changed, apologising to your son now will sound authentic.
If saying the words is difficult, write him a letter in which you can choose your words carefully – and invite him and his partner to get together with you soon.
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