My son-in-law is a secret drinker and I'm worried for my daughter and grandson

DEAR DEIDRE:  MY son-in-law is a secret drinker. I am 60 and helping to look after my eight-year-old grandson during lockdown as his parents both work.

Yesterday, we came back from a walk while his dad, who is 36, was upstairs working.

I sent my grandson up to say hello, and the boy came back saying Daddy was drinking wine in the bedroom and had quickly hidden the bottle under the duvet when he came in.

My son-in-law claimed he was putting it there in case his wife – my daughter – wanted a drink later.

The boy has no reason to lie. He told me he has heard his parents arguing about this before. Do you think I should tell my daughter?

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DEIDRE SAYS: If your daughter’s partner is secretly drinking then this is a cause for concern, especially if he drinks when he is meant to be caring for his son.

The chances are that your daughter already knows. If you say something she may shoot the messenger.

But your grandson has to be the priority so gently tell her and let her know you will help her in whatever way she wants.

My support pack Dealing With A Problem Drinker has advice and sources of help.

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