Sex with my post-baby bootcamp trainer has made me realise I want to be single

DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING hot sex with my bootcamp teacher has made me realise I don’t want to be with my partner any more.

I’m a woman of 28 and my fella is 31. We had a good relationship until my daughter was born. 


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I lost body-confidence but then one of my baby-mum friends suggested I join the “post-baby bootcamp” classes she goes to.

It was outside, on a sports field, because of social distancing restrictions. It was fun but as it got to the end of the class, I slipped on some mud and twisted my ankle.

The instructor was lovely. He’s 25 and he elevated my foot and strapped it up for me but said he’d feel happier if I had it checked. He helped me to his car and ran me to the local hospital.

It was just a sprain in the end but extremely painful. I was in tears when the porter pushed me in a wheelchair back to the car and my waiting instructor.

He told me he’d look after me and took me back to his house, as he wanted to find me a reusable ice pack he knew he had. We went inside for him to look for it.

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I was still a bit teary as I said how grateful I was, when he hugged me then kissed me. 

I’ve never been unfaithful before but it was lovely to feel wanted.

I lost all my inhibitions and we had sex. It took me back to how sex used to be before I had my daughter and it felt incredible.

He said he’d like to see me again. Since then we’ve been meeting up for sex when I take my daughter out in the pram for her nap time. Sex with my partner is OK but I don’t feel we have that spark any more. I doubt now it will come back.

I want to be single again and not stuck with the same guy. I don’t want to break my partner’s heart — but I know I would be happier alone.

DEIDRE SAYS: You are in the grip of your new sexual attraction to your instructor but that is distorting your thinking – and you also risk transmitting the virus.

Life as a single parent isn’t all about seeing your new lover. It can feel very hard and lonely – and you owe it to your little girl to try, at least, to make things work with your partner.

Being a parent brings great changes but remember you are still a couple, not just Mum and Dad.

Tell your lover you are going to stop seeing him while you focus on your relationship and decide whether it is make or break. 

Find a quiet moment to tell your partner you are unhappy and ask how he is feeling.

My e-leaflet on Sex Problems After A Baby can help you rediscover the spark in your relationship. But make a real effort to organise your evenings to get couple time together, too.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I’m longing for my girlfriend to lock me in a chastity cage and take the key away

READ DEIDRE'S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Cliff turns down sex because he’s in women’s lingerie

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