Woman writes poignant letter to husband’s affair

Heartbroken mother pens a poignant note to ‘the other woman’ asking why she ‘took’ her husband away – but is slammed for not blaming HIM

  • An Irish mother took to Mumsnet after uncovering her husband’s work affair
  • She asked users what the ‘other woman’ got out of being with a ‘taken man’ 
  • Woman was slammed for blaming the woman instead of her married husband 

A woman who was left devastated by her partner’s affair has provoked a furious debate by blaming the other woman for ‘taking’ him away.  

The unnamed Irish mother took to Mumsnet this week after discovering her husband had been having an affair with his colleague. 

Explaining that she had broken up with him after discovering messages between the woman and her partner, she revealed that her 10-year-old daughter had asked her ‘why the women took daddy away?’.

However upon asking why woman dated men who were attached, she was slammed for blaming the woman instead of her husband – with other mothers arguing he was the one with the commitment.

An unnamed Irish mother took to Mumsnet this week after discovering her husband had been having an affair with his colleague, writing a note to ‘the other woman’ asking what she got out of it

Kicking off  the lively debate on the parenting forum, the unnamed woman wrote: ‘I just need to understand the reasoning behind having an affair with a taken/married man? 

‘In the middle of a break up and I’ve had my 10-year-old daughter ask ‘why did the woman take daddy away?’

‘Such an innocent yet poignant question.. please, for anyone that has been the OW (other woman) explain what you get out of it?’.

Slamming her husband, one woman replied: ‘Another woman did not take Daddy away. Life isn’t like that. Daddy left. He left. HE left – no one ‘took’ him.

‘Sorry, but you need to start there to get your own self esteem back.’

Upon asking why woman dated men who were attached, she was slammed for blaming the woman instead of her husband – with other mothers arguing he was the one with the commitment

Agreeing, another added: ‘Stop painting the OW as some b***h temptress/sl** with no standards. Many women have made mistakes and been with taken men.’

‘Where’s your letter to your partner? The OW is not blameless but she did not take him away. He willingly cheated and left. Your anger is misdirected,’ another said.

Meanwhile some mothers who had been the ‘other woman’ shared their point of view, with one writing: ‘I have, while in my twenties, and going through the sh***iest time of my life, desperately trying to prove I was worth something after being raped. 

‘I am disgusted with myself for it, but you know what? If the taken men had a few standards of their own, it would have been very different all round.’ 

Agreeing, another added: ‘Stop painting the OW as some b***h temptress/sl** with no standards. Many women have made mistakes and been with taken men.’

Another admitted: ‘If I’m honest, in my position, I can see the appeal (absolutely wouldn’t do it).

‘I don’t want the day to day stuff or a relationship, but I would like some attention every now and then.

‘I’ve tried the FWB (friends with benefits) situation and he got feelings which I didn’t want, a guy who’s taken wouldn’t get feelings, especially one who’s pretty happy with his missus.

‘Once again, I absolutely wouldn’t go there, but I get why some women do. That said, it’s your ex who was the problem, nobody ‘took’ him, he made the choice.’ 

‘If it wasn’t her it probably would have been someone else’, one woman wrote, explaining that something must have been wrong with the relationship

Another explained: ‘I mean this in the nicest way but people who are happy in relationships don’t start affairs. 

‘As for the OW, there are many reasons some might go for a married man, the challenge of it, or having no strings attached or ‘saving’ their beau from their unhappy life, sometimes the heart just wants what it wants OP’.

One mother concluded: ‘I would never get involved with a married man. Your DP isn’t blameless though. If it wasn’t her it probably would have been someone else.’ 

‘If they’re that easily taken they’re not worth it’, one woman wrote

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