JADE Goody's husband Jack Tweed says he 'desperately misses' her sons – and insists he never took a penny from the late star.
Jack, 33, also admits that he wished Jade’s sons Bobby 17, and Freddie, 16, were his own children after helping to bring them up.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun as he prepares to mark the 12 anniversary of Jade's death from cervical cancer, Jack reflects on how their relationship has changed.
Now, he says he felt hugely betrayed [by their dad Jeff Brazier] when he was cut out their lives after Jade died.
“I’m not disrespecting Jeff or anything – but when Jade died, he was the hero and I was the villain,” Jack says.
“But I brought the boys up. All the boys’ life and memories of Jade are with me.
“But obviously I'm not their real dad, so I didn't expect Jeff to do anything different – I was getting myself into trouble, so it’s probably the right decision Jeff made.”
Jack admits that he still thinks about what might have happened if he and Jade had become parents.
The couple suffered their own heart-breaking baby loss after a miscarriage, months before Jade was diagnosed with cervical cancer.
“She was pregnant and we were going to have a kid. We lost the baby. “I do wonder what my life will be like now.
“And I do always wonder what my life would have been right now with the boys – I wish those boys were mine,” Jack admits.
“I brought them up until Jade died and I gave them £400,000 from my cut of our wedding deal for their education.
“I would have done anything for them – and I still would.
“I still talk to Bobby and Freddie, but I'm not involved in their life as much as I would like to be. I wish I could see them every day.”
The Big Brother star would have been so proud of her boys, following in her showbiz footsteps to land top name modelling deals, Jack adds.
“Jade would be so proud of Bobby and Freddie. I’m so proud of them both now,” he says.
“Bobby’s modelling career is going amazing – he will do so well in life. I think Freddie is thinking about doing it now too.
“Jade would be loving it. I've never known someone that loves their kids more than Jade did – she would do absolutely anything for them and she made every day special.
“Every single day, without fail, we would take them somewhere for a great day out.
“There's so much stuff that we've done together as a family I would just like to sit down and talk to them both about.
“We always bump into each other at the grave and stay there for a couple of hours and have a chat.
“I’m happy they’re older now and they can make their own decisions and I hope they want to see me more now.”
In a couple of weeks, Jack will pay tribute to his wife all over again on 22nd March, the anniversary of her death.
Jade passed away on Mother’s Day 2009 after a brutal battle with cancer.
But 12 years on, Jack says he can remember their wedding day like it was days ago.
“Honestly I can remember it like it was last month and I have got the worst memory. I can still hear her laughing and talking and crying. It doesn’t feel like it was 12 years ago.”
Jade and Jack tied the knot on 22 February 2009, where Jade wore the dress in an elaborate ceremony in front of their loved ones.
However, exactly one month later Jade sadly died at the age of 27.
Jack says his fondest memories are of holidays with Jade and the boys.
“I never got one penny. I wouldn’t have taken any money,” he says.
“Jade tried to buy me a flat when she was in hospital, five weeks before she passed away.
“She searched to find me one so that she would know I am alright. I had to force her not to do it.
“I had to ring her agent and say: ‘Don’t send Jade any money.’
“I bought her thousands of pounds of jewellery and I didn’t take any of that back. I didn’t want anything to do with the will.
“Everyone was saying I was with her for the money and that couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t even want to hear about the will. Even if anyone spoke to me about it, I would say: ‘It’s nothing to do with me.’
“We got paid a lot for the wedding. Jade tried to give me half of it – I told her agent to take mine and pay for the boys’ school fees. It was a lot of money, like £400,000.”
Jack has a rope necklace Jade used to wear that he cradles as a keepsake and wears occasionally for comfort.
“I have got little things, the candle, pictures. Her hospital bracelet. She used to wear this necklace. A bit of rope. It had a key on it with ‘Hope’ written on it. I have got that and I wear that sometimes.
“Apart from that, I got nothing that was worth any money.”
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