Stephen Colbert postponed his usual Late Show monologue on Thursday night to deliver an emotional speech aimed at President Donald Trump, who tried to claim victory over the 2020 election that evening in a White House press conference.
“True story: I’m wearing black tonight because I was getting dressed this afternoon and I thought, he might try some shenanigans and it might be fitting to tell jokes while wearing something somber if he goes down that dark path,” Colbert said. “I’m no prophet — it’s just that he’s so predictable!”
The late-night host hammered in the ridiculousness of Trump’s claims that the election was being stolen from him: “If Donald Trump is right — if Joe Biden did pull the strings behind the scenes in Republican states like Arizona and Georgia while coordinating with Democratic states like Pennsylvania and Nevada and Wisconsin and Michigan and throwing in the red herring of letting the Republicans keep the Senate and gain a few seats in the House while just barely removing Donald Trump — wow! I mean, kudos to that level of interstate coordination. I mean, anyone who could accomplish that many things at once right now really would be the president we need during a global pandemic.”
Elsewhere, Jimmy Fallon delivered more punches at Trump’s claims: “Yep, nothing is definite, but the outcome feels pretty inevitable right now. Vladimir Putin is like, ‘Oh well, you rig some, you lose some.’”
“The race being so close in Georgia was a big surprise, but Pennsylvania — the reason Joe Biden is strong in Pennsylvania, a state that voted Republican last time, is because he’s from there and they know him,” Jimmy Kimmel said on his show. “It’s the same reason Trump lost New York.”
He also welcomed Trump’s lawsuits against Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, and Pennsylvania, quipping, “I really cannot think of a more fitting ending to this presidency than him suing America.”
“When Hillary lost, she disappeared into the woods, but Trump starts losing, he’s dragging voters one by one onto the witness stand,” Trevor Noah said in his Daily Show monologue, “although knowing Trump, he’s probably just hustling for a big settlement. ‘I’m suing because I should be president, that’s why I’m here — but for 500 grand we can forget this whole thing ever happened. Three hundred thousand. Two hundred and fifty, my final offer. Fifty thousand. I’ll pay you, but only $20. Art of the deal.’”
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